I Lived!


Well, it’s now 3am so the day is technically over, but it’s only now that I am beginning to process all that was.

Performing with Soul Song Choir is something with which nothing can compare. The annual Soul Song Celebration is now the event that I plan my whole year around.


It’s the healthiest addiction I’ve ever had!

I have performed three times at the Soul Song Celebration and each year has been a different experience. And this years’ celebration was especially different few reasons: Firstly, I have become more involved with the behind the scenes work involved in keeping Soul Song ticking over and today was the culmination of a years’ work; Secondly, I was able to co-ordinate a plan to surprise the woman with all the surprises. I certainly didn’t achieve it alone – I had about 70 cohorts, and at least a dozen instrumental co-conspirators to make it happen, but I am so proud that we pulled it off!


And lastly, this years’ celebration was a personal milestone, too. Not many people were aware of todays’ significance for me, but the 5th of November has, for the last 24 years, been a day of mourning. I was 13 when my Dad died. He was only 41 and his death shook me and my family to the core, as you would expect.

Obviously, over the course of 24 years, grief changes. From being all-consuming, to being something that you learn to live with and that just becomes a part of your story. Life goes on, as they say. But that date: “Remember, Remember, the 5th of November”, has always brought with it a sense of obligation to be mournful. So, I’d spend the day reminding myself to remember him, and normally end the day with drinks “for my Dad”.


But today, rather than dwelling on the loss of his life, I was a part of something that made me feel more alive than ever. That’s not to say there weren’t moments of reflection or tears throughout the day, there were. But I did it (all). I lived. And isn’t that the best way to honour a life lost – by really living the days they are denied? Obviously, not every day is a Soul Song Celebration, and for an addict a year is a long time between fixes. But every day can be a celebration, of sorts. Every single day can be whatever I choose to make of it, even November 5th.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Teri Lambert says:

    With every broken bone, I lived. Every day is a living day. Thanks SJ for sharing🍾🍾for a 🌠

  2. Thanks for sharing your heart and your words SJ, I was singing for someone I too lost on November 5. Yesterday was my mum’s 10 year anniversary. Sometimes I’m glad she wasn’t here this year to see the dark places I’ve been, but I know she’d be proud to see the light that is starting to shine again, and that love can “change our way of caring about ourselves”. XXXX

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s